Tag Archives: self analysis

On Christian Introverts by J. S. Park

So I was perusing valuable links and ran across this gem of a post called "14 Ways to Handle a Christian Introvert." Note: I am a Christian and an introvert. I rolled with laughter. This is me. You read my mind.

An excerpt:

2) We just don’t sing like the front row.

It’s great that extroverts can freely express themselves during worship time.  But introverts sometimes just read the lyrics, connect inwardly, and keep their hands inside the vehicle.  If you see us raising even one hand and singing a few words, we are seriously pushing the gas pedal all the way to the floor.

3) Do not ever rebuke us in public.

Or you and I are done.  Forever. You should never do this anyway.

7) We get super-tired around a lot of people.

My limit is about four hours, and then I actually get a headache from just hanging around human beings.  My Sabbath rest is leave-me-alone-time with my non-judgmental dog.  Give us that time without trying to counsel us about it.

8) Don’t be offended if we don’t reply right away.

Sometimes when we see a Facebook invite to that next big church event, we just let it sit there and think about it periodically throughout the week and then come back to it before committing.  We do the same thing with text messages, emails, phone calls, and you showing up at the door.

10) Please do NOT bring a lot of attention to us.

Not in the church bulletin, not the church site, not for my birthdays, not for that nice thing I did for the homeless — just please, no spotlight.

11) Sometimes we’re just moody.  It’s not depression or a “spiritual attack” or “unconfessed sin.”

One word: space.  Lots of it.

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Writing into the Abyss, Part II

I did know what froze me up on writing my chaptered fanfics after a while, and it's weird to admit this, but here it is: they were too long.

When I realized it was going to take more than 100 chapters to wrap up some of those stories, my brain and muse froze up and it suddenly became very, very hard to keep writing. It was easier when I didn't realize that and could just scribble into the abyss, not knowing, not caring how many words it would take me to reach the end. I cannot tell you how liberating it is to not know.

And you know what? I think that's what happened to the Story from Inferno as well. I realized how much work and words were involved and almost got over it before my brain went too much, too much, too much—I'm scared.

Some writers write scared. It drives them, keeps them writing. I don't. Never have. Never have been able. Scared freezes up my brainpower and even if I know exactly what should come next, I don't write it. If I don't know what comes next, that suddenly becomes an ultra-handy excuse to let it go and hack away at something else while nibbling every now and then on the overwhelming, too long story. And I wonder why I've only ever finished one satisfactory novel. :shakes head ruefully at self:

There is no commitment to the abyss. It is like life, only visible one step at a time, and with infinite possibilities for continuing or coming to a satisfactory end. We live by moving forward. There is commitment once a story rears itself out of the abyss and shows its overall shape. Suddenly, I feel obliged to make the story fit that shape, reach that end satisfactorily. There's pressure.

I've been thinking about how to take that pressure back off. Cross your fingers for me or share your tips if you have any. It's time to throw a few stories back into the abyss.

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5 Things Meme: Goals

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the series 5 Things Meme

Comment to this post saying "FIVE!" and I will pick five things I would like you to talk about. They might make sense or be totally random.

Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself, hopefully for the rest of eternity!

From arliddian: Current Goals and Resolutions

The difference between where I am now and where I want to be can be measured in concrete, physical things: earn a decent weekly income at writing, get x stories published as ebooks, get x stories into print, post this many articles weekly, blog about things that matter, finish writing City of Glass, etc. But that isn't how I measure this journey.

See, there's another challenge arliddian gave me, the challenge to write 100 things about creativity. I took that challenge, held it in my mental palm, side-eyed it, set it down, then turned it over until finally I did the inevitable and took it completely apart to reassemble it into something better, something me. The result was I saw a journey I wanted to make, and it had nothing to do with outside goals.


Continue reading

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Sunday memery while I procrastinate on writing whipsy's story.

Oops! I said it out loud. Ah, well. These are from arliddian. Comment if you want your own.

1. What is your favourite sweet treat?

Cheesecake. Bar none. With kiwis on top.

2. There's a fire in your house! What are the first five things you try to rescue?

My family. My writings. My PDA and backup hard drive. Oh, and underwear/change of clothes.

3. A time machine is malfunctioning and is going to deposit you in the past, with no way to return to your own time! You have just enough seconds to set the time period of your choice. Which would you choose and why?

Five years ago. I'd get back to where I am a whole lot faster and be able to finally have two of me. Answer to prayers, y'all.

4. What is your favourite thing to do in summer?

Write. What else?

5. What kind of music do you listen to when you need inspiration?

Celtic. Christian contemporary, mostly pop and acoustic, none of this rock and roll stuff they're calling CCM anymore. More celtic.

6. What are your top five tips about writing original fiction?

Focus on stories. Forget the writing; the writing will take care of itself. Focus on what inspires you. Read. Live through your character's eyes. Know what makes people tick. Know the stories you love and how to get from point a to point b with as many complications as you can throw on there. It's about stories, people.

Fuel selectively. If you fall in love with something (I'm looking at you angsty ships!), it will come out in your stories. Pay attention to the things that unleash your inner fangirl. Fangirl your own fiction. Make it yours. Explain it. Juggle it around until you're satisfied. Love AU (hereby go to original) but make their lousy, crazy canon nonlogic into real logic without changing anything from canon at all—if you can. Learn how to feed your own muse.

Never assume anything. Know your characters, the rules of your world, and a handful of outside factors to fling at them. The rest will be unpredictable—even to you, but inevitable.

Know the difference between voice and tone. Your voice is your writing. Your tone is your story. And for goodness sake, don't read out of tone when you're working. Keep the reading and the writing separate if you're tone-hopping.

No matter what you do in writing, what choice you make, it's fine. As long as you do it consistently.

7. How much do you think you have changed in the past two years?

Goodness. Much. And nothing. Some days, I know. Some days, I don't. I try to stay in the present, know what I want to change and where I'm heading. I'm not a journey person. It's about the destination, and that's where my eyes are fixed.

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So I've been thinking... One of the hardest things for me to let go is the conversations where it's obvious they aren't even hearing/reading me.

When I state that I believe in a middle ground between fixity of species and evolution. Creatures adapt, but I've yet to see any proof that they become a genetically different species.1 Other Party: that's not a middle ground between no change and rapid change.

When I state that I am affiliated with the Republican party solely because they are more likely than the Democratic to share my political views, but that I wouldn't vote for any of our current line-up. Other Party: I'm not sure why the reasons you're giving would ever make me want to vote Republican.

When I state that the author probably meant "religious" rather than "biblical" because what the text of the Bible says (there are rules regarding what man is supposed to do or not do to the earth) and what the Judeo-Christian religion says (man can do as he pleases) are two different things. Other Party: you can't win your argument with semantics.2

The sad part: this stuff keeps going around and around in my head years later, even when I let the conversation go and stop trying to articulate myself clear enough to be heard. I know they won't hear me, but I still keep trying to think of how I could say it different, better.

This isn't good. It's like mental torture.

I'm still not sure what to do about it because the only way I figure out not to have conversations with those who don't listen is by having a bad conversation! :glum chin on knees:

And that's why I like books. I can articulate it as clearly as I want and not feel I have to defend what it says. Anybody can take what they want from fiction. I wish conversing in life was as easy as writing a novel.

Show 2 footnotes

  1. This is not a general term. It's a scientific term, meaning the new species is not able to interbreed with another and produce viable (fertile) offspring.
  2. Semantics is the meaning of a word and exactly what I was disputing.
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