5 Things Meme: Siblings

This entry is part 1 of 5 in the series 5 Things Meme

Comment to this post saying "FIVE!" and I will pick five things I would like you to talk about. They might make sense or be totally random.

Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself, hopefully for the rest of eternity!

From arliddian: Siblings

When it comes to family, they are one of the most important things in both my life and my fiction, a fact not everybody may be aware of. Sisters, brothers, parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents...

But today, let's talk about siblings.

In Vardin, the primary world I'm mucking around in just now, there are two kinds of family members, perhaps a reflection of my own real life. They are family (born so) and blood family, or chosen family. Blood brothers and sisters are often as close or closer than born siblings. It is a relationship that is as deep as Jonathan and David or Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr (without romantic under- or overtones).

...there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother .

— Proverbs 18:24 KJV

And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.

— I Samuel 18:1 KJV

In fact, the word soulmate came from the Irish, and it meant brothers in the nature of Jonathan and David. It meant blood family, as the Households call it.

I too have chosen family and born family, though in my case, it is more siblings that were born mine and one who chose to not be.

My sister and I are close, closer than perhaps people might guess if they only pay attention to where we disagree. (Never room with your sibling if you can help it once you're grown. Trust me on this.) We grew up together, we made many of the same choices in that we both accepted our family heritage, and we learned to create together. We are complementary in so many ways.

My brother and I hardly have contact with each other. From the beginning, when he showed self-destructive tendencies, I tended to walk away. It hurts me too much to fight for someone else who has made their own decision. Everyone has the right to choose for themself, and my brother taught me about letting go. I cannot hold him. I cannot make his life for him. It would hurt and hinder us both. He knew as well as I did where his path was leading and chose it anyway. One day maybe, we will be blood and born family again, but now, we are only born family and I have a sister.

A sister.

She is my best friend. We watch each other's backs. We take care of each other when we're in trouble. We work together, ask each other questions from our respective areas of expertise, talk and laugh and tell stories.

She is my best enemy. We know each other's weaknesses. Our complementary nature means that, while we can divide a workload easily, we also behave naturally in many of the ways that grate most on the other. She is a leader by nature and takes over the room to impose what makes best sense to her. I am a quiet, bide-my-time planner by nature and wait, sometimes at peace, sometimes in resentment, until I can bring some balance to our life.

But most of all, we love each other. Love smooths over the resentments, opens our mouths to apologize and forgive, keeps us remembering that the good times are worth the bad moments, drives the work that keeps a relationship going.

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

— I Peter 4:8 KJV

Siblings, blood or born, are worth so much more to me than romance. These are the people that are there forever, that I can't throw away and wouldn't want to. They are in my heart, my blood, forever. And that is why the Vardin Households call them blood family. They're in our blood. As long as our hearts beat, we belong.

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